Do You Repeat Yourself?
"WHY do I have to say things a thousand times?!"
"I'm so sick of saying things over and over and still he doesn't do what I ask!"
So we ask. And we ask again - a little louder. And we ask again - even louder.
And we ask again - and we're really angry now!
What parent hasn't experienced the frustration and anger that comes from having a request completely ignored?!
By the time you’ve repeated your request once or twice, he has likely tuned you out completely - if he even heard you in the first place.
You are angry, frustrated, and taking it personally.
Change your approach - and you are actually helping him to hear you.
NOTICE these specifics:
Where are you when you make your request?
Are you calling to him from the kitchen?
Is your back to him when you’re speaking?Are you yelling up the stairs?
NO WONDER he doesn't hear you!
Single focus is real:
Boys easily become enveloped in a single activity, with laser-focus.
You become 'white-noise' or an interruption for him.
His hearing differs, too.
Most males hear a narrower range of sounds, so if you are a soft-spoken female there is a good chance that he can't even hear the tone of your voice.
Here's what to do:
Stop what you’re doing and go to him to ensure that he hears you and responds (for just a couple of moments).
Get into his zone – and just be with him there for a moment.
After you've been in his physical space - his zone - you'll catch his attention.
Take a moment to comment on something he's doing.Let him feel you physically - touch his shoulder or leg, or give him a high five.
THEN ask your question and help him comply with your request.
PRACTICE!
It takes time to learn (and remember) to do this technique but you'll soon find that it is highly effective!
It isn't that he won't listen -- you just have to make the adjustments so that he CAN listen!
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