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Janet’s Toolbox Tip: Compassionate Listening

…because you can never have enough tools in your toolbox.
Not only is Compassionate Listening an essential tool for every parenting tool-box, it is an essential skill to build into every relationship. With thanks (and adapted) from Christina Perez of Little Sprigs.

The Four Parts of Compassionate Listening

1. Listen intently to what the other person is saying. This means allowing children to finish their whiny request, even if we know where they’re going and we know that we’re not giving in. Even children deserve the respect of being heard. When you offer the other your full attention and allow them to be heard, they will begin to calm down.

2. Listen without judgement. When your child misbehaves and you feel they should ‘know better’ – judgement can slip in fast. When we consider brain development, we know that only through repetition (and more repetition), imitation/modeling, and loving guidance from us, will they have the tools to take the high road the next time.

3. Refrain from comparing. Your child is unique. It may be tempting to compare them to other children. Why can’t my kid get this by now? Why can’t he be like his sister? Let go and truly meet the other where they are in that moment.

4. Refrain from interrupting. When your child is whining, crying, or asking again after you’ve said no countless times, listening can be difficult. We can feel trig erred by their emotions and want to put a stop to it.

Read more about applying compassionate listening in your life here.

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